All The Love I’ve Known

*
One little official in her chair, earphones
on head to block out the silence in which
her colleagues work industriously

Creeping on hands and knees underneath
the desk to answer a ringing phone, unable
to understand how the security guard

Can stare in the distance doing nothing all
day long, tackling a message about a missing
person, giving up to delineate her mission instead:

I use everything, regardless of nature or label
as a mirror for introspection, a mirror that
materializes everything that is in me

Work is an opportunity to find myself, my workplace
challenges my illusions, forces me to face my fears,
gifts and talents

I want to transform my inner landscape without
reference to external things or people, other
than the joy of loving them

Accepting them JUST as they are, honouring
all by never trying to change anything about
anybody, offering respect

I like relationships for the experience they teach, my
ideal is to be free from responsibility for anybody’s
happiness, setting them free from responsibility for me

I don’t want to make anybody unhappy, my inner imp goes
underground in the face of conflict, offer a neutral front
conforming with others’ wishes to make them feel well

While the imp does his own thing in total freedom; I want
to learn to love what seems absolutely unlovable such as
Tiaan’s music, it forms a bond between us

My view of death is that I shall take myself with me
making the idea of travelling through eternity with
myself into an exciting concept

I want to become my own best companion, I don’t
want to fit into society because in the end there
will only be my own consciousness

And all the love I’ve known
*