Sunday, May 10, 2009

Penance And Self-Abnegation

Reading ‘The Nun’s Story’ by Kathryn
Hulme is an ordeal, I hate the penance
and self-abnegation, the constant humi-
liation, confessing nonsensical sins

The austere rules and regulations, all to
destroy a sense of self, shocking to read
of the nuns’ suffering, punishment like
begging food from other nuns

Kissing their feet, no speaking, NO freedom
in an unnatural life aimed at killing all that is
beautiful in the human spirit, it hurts my heart
to read it, they had to determine

What they loved in order to do the exact oppo-
site in devotion to God, a man-made image of
God as a maiming tyrant, religion reflecting
mankind’s sociological development

At least, I’ve got the comfort to know that no order
would have accepted me as a nun, now it is time
for my fortifying arthritis drink of cinnamon-
honey with a single tot vodka, an act of love

‘The Nun’s Story’ by Kathryn Hulme - Chivers Press, 1983,
First published 1956 - Gabrielle van der Mal

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