True Freedom And Perfect Salvation

Launched myself through this weekend,
firmly determined to clear up all mystery
and intrigue at work, send off all old
documents and complete the register

Finished reading two escapist books, finding
the pitfalls in the glad game, I’m NOT glad I’m
alive, I’m not glad the world exists, if I had a
choice I would send all awareness into oblivion

Having consciousness is too much for me,
I’ve never mastered the ability to deal with
knowing, being informed about all that goes
wrong, not able to live up to expectations

The only thing that scares me about death
is that it is the beginning of infinity; I don’t
want to carry what I know for evermore,
I hope that the content of our thoughts

Will be enlightened upon death - that our
primitive emotions will reach new heights,
that we lose all desire for acceptance and
communication – therein lies true freedom

And perfect salvation…

*******************

I have managed to change a slight depression
into a total nightmare, how on earth does it
happen that awareness of deficiency in one
respect takes over my whole life?

Abraham says simply focusing on positive things
changes perspective and thought-forms, but I’ve
managed to charge straight into the darkest corner
of the universe, how to find my way out again

I always forget why I’m an outsider in life, why I sit
on the sidelines and watch life pass me by – then
one day I eat the wrong stuff and lose all semblance
of rationality and remember again

Why I’m not a real member of humanity, free to come
and go as I please, why I have to follow strict guidelines
in order to remain only halfway operational…